Monday, December 8, 2003 04:10 p.m.

Well today was a good day for a monday. I have so much homework to catch up on. Umm kinda getting really tired of doing it so im gonna probably go over to jacobs house and see if he wants to go and play so basketball with me at prospect point. Umm i wanna go to the Y and work out but i dont have a membership but i could pay but no one to go with. I would go with james but i dont want to get in his way so i'll just be bored. later.

Tuesday, December 2, 2003 03:06 p.m.

Today has been a great day....well cept for the fact James was gone from school. I hope he feels better. But me on the other hand aint doing that great. I am starting to get a cold. I have a sore throat and a cough but thats about it. So nothing biggie. I'm really happy that Jillian is only gonna be grounded for a couple of weeks and not 4 MONTHS!! That was just way to long if you ask me. So hopefully she will be able to go to Lila's new years eve party! But Jillian's dad is suppose to talk to Lila's dad about what Lila has been putting in her journal and so I hope Lila doesn't get into any trouble her dad will kill her! And thats just not good because I will miss her very much! And Lila thinks that I'm mad at her but I'm not! I love you lila!!! lol! I'm so bored right now! I don't know what to do! I really can't do that much because I'm starting to get sick! It sucks but I'll just do my homework study for my test on Friday. I know kinda weird its Tuesday and I'm studying for a test thats Friday but the last vocabulary test I took I failed it. So I am working extra hard in all my classes so I cant get straight A's again and hopefully a 4.0 instead of a 3.950....yeah well I'm gonna go for now laters!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2003 09:36 p.m.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!! My mom woke me up at 9:00 in the morning just to watch the parade! I about killed her! she woke me up so early!!! lol! then at 12 we went to my grandparents house on my moms side of the family had some turkey and yams (yummmy!!!!) and a bunch of over stuff. After that I played hide and go seek with my cousin Shyla she's the cutest thing in the world!!! shes chinese and so tiny! shes 4. At 3 my dad came and picked Tanner and I up and took us over for part 2 of Thanksgiving at Jeff and Stephanies house. It was weird because everyone was there but my grandma kinda sad it was hard for me. I can't imagine what Christmas is gonna be like without her there. We all watched football over there the Dolphins were playing against the cowboys. The Dolphins won 40 to 21 it was a good game. Then dad took me home and I've been lying around the house getting ready to explode! And now im chatting on msn and thats about it!

	Monday, November 24, 2003 04:16 p.m.

	Sunday, November 23, 2003 11:21 a.m.
Today some of my friends and I are going to the YMCA like at 1:00 to 5:00 to play some basketball and swim. I really really wanna go swimmming so bad! I hope the water is warm! James is going hes the one who invited me im really happy i get to spend some time with him. I need to find my swimsuit so i can go swim so im gonna go and look for that.

	Saturday, November 22, 2003 12:01 a.m.
today was okay james left to Spokane and should be back saturday nite sometime. I hope that he comes back soon enough so that he can hang out with me. I watched 40 days and 40 nights and legally blonde 2 with ambra, malia, and hannah. there were both good movies. I miss james alot but i'll see him soon. well byes!!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 10:23 p.m.

I hate feeling like I'm not loved by you I wish you would treat me like you use to do. You treat other girls better than you treat me but yet im still here with you. Your all that I ever think about and i know that im what you hardly ever think about. You say you love me but i wonder if you really do. Your never make the first move you always pull away when i do. im always secound best. you treat me differently around your friends. its like im just a rag doll that you can pick me up and throw me down again. i dont know why i let you do this to me when your breaking every piece i have inside of me. i fell alone and empty without you like all my dreams and wishes will never come true. I need you to help me through the good and bad times i thought it might be fair since im always there for you. but i guess its just too much to ask for for you to be my boyfriend who will love and take care of me while im with you. i hate you but i love you i really truly do.

Monday, November 17, 2003 04:06 p.m.

Lets see umm today was an okay monday for being monday lol yeah well umm basketball started today im really mad I missed the registration I wanted to play so bad! But i'll just play and maybe i'll be an "okay" player for next year. James, Brandon, and Nick are all playing I hope that they are all on a team. I can't wait to watch the games its just the practices im not looking forward too. I dont see James at all outside of school as it is and with basketball I'm never gonna get to see him. He's probably not gonna be able to go to Lehman hot springs because he has to practice the days we were planning on going. Im barely gonna see him. Im really upset about that but I know that he loves basketball and I dont want to take that away from him. I'll just have to suck it up and stop bitching.

Sunday, November 16, 2003 04:06 p.m.

Well today I woke up ate some breakfast and then played some video games nothing exciting. I then ate lunch and made cookies with Heidi...LoL we did something wrong the cookies were all flat lol!!! And then I watched some real world and trading spaces and now Heidi is doing dishes and Im on the internet waiting for ppl to sign on msn so I can talk to them but my luck no one is on! lol and in about 5 mintues or so im leaving to go back to boring Wally World. But its all good. I guess everyone had fun last nite well from what Lila put in her journal. I can't believe she didn't know that James wouldn't remember or wouldn't make reservations he always seems to forget things. Which I thought was funny. Yesterday has been 4 months since James and I have been together I'm happy about that and he said he was too which is cool. I hope this lasts for a long time! Well Im gonna go adios!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2003 07:33 p.m.

Lets see umm nothing really happened today. I helped my sister do some yard work and then we went to walmart and bought a few things. I got P.O.D.'s new CD "payble on death" And a wallet which is really cute. Its pink but oh well. Everyone is Bowling right now and im stuck here bored in Tri-Cities. Lila better wirte in her Journal about it cuz im pretty sure that something funny is bound to happen tonite lol. Especially with everyone there. Umm tonite im gonna watch "Sweet Home Alabama" I love that movie its really cool. And then probably goona read a book or something. Then tomorrow im leaving for home around 5. Well I dont know what else to write anymore i'll write more if something happens. Bye!!!

	Friday, November 14, 2003 09:24 p.m.
Im in Tri-Cities right now chatting on MSN messenger. Im kinda tired even though its only 9:30. Well nothing much is really going on here. Im just basically trying to find something well yeah i'll write back more tomorrow byes.

Monday, September 29, 2003 07:45 p.m.

wow okay umm yea i dyed my hair red and cut it hella short seven inches off and james hasnt decided really if he likes it or not well at least this is what i heard from jelly belly and well he doesnt treat me any different with my hair still loveable lol and umm well he knows that i was scared that he would dump me because of my hair but he though that was stupid so i guess i dont have anything to worry about. school is easy and it goes by hella fast which if you ask me is alright. everyone seemed to like my hair they all thought that it looked better than the blonde and that it was really cute which i am happy for i was so afraid that everyone was gonna hate it and i would be a loner until i did something different. I cant really talk to James like I used to anymore i dont know really why i mean ever since that assembly at school i cant hardly talk to him the same way for some reason and i've noticed alot more things about him than before for some reason he has definitely been a guy lol if you know what i mean lately. I dunno i was afraid that my hair would scare him off but he must like me or something if my hair didn't scare him off. Jillian said that he's noticed me flirting with ben and other ppl lately and i never really thought that bugged him before because he's never said anything to me about it. but it is wrong so im gonna stop and just focus on him.

Thursday, September 25, 2003 05:50 p.m.

Okay well i havent wrote here for a long long time i've been too busy with school, friends, and everything else. I'm really bored. Oh well tomorrow is gonna be a good day because I only have 3 classes tomorrow because we have an assemble for 3 hours which takes up 3 classes I miss computer Apps, P.E.!!! yes!!! and English!!!! and then i have math then lunch and then science and then i'm going to the corn maze with all of my friends!!!! Hopefully James doesn't ditch me like he always does! I really hate that. I'm really confused about Jillian well she's not going out with Jacob anymore and she's not going out with Ben she's flying solo so i guess its not so confusing nevermind but whatever decides i'll be by her side all the way.

	Thursday, August 7, 2003 12:38 p.m.
well yesterday lila, jillian, and I went down town on our rollerblades....well at least Lila and I had our rollerblades and we were rollerblading in the stores and no one cared. Well book and games did but we were rollerblading all in the cube. We were trying on clothes and I found alot of cute outfits that im gonna

	Wednesday, August 6, 2003 11:52 a.m.
Lets see what has happened since the last time i wrote. umm.... well james and nick and chasity came to my house yesterday and we were swimming and having a pillow fight and playing basketball at prospect point. and then nick and james stacked these closets that were outside at the school and climbed up on the roof and walked around and then james's mom came to the school looking for them.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003 who knows

Well today James, Andrew, Tommy, Amber, Toine,Jillian, Lila, and I all went to Bowlaway to go bowling. It was alot of fun. We were all trying to get high scores. And well let's just say I can do alot better on my good days. We played 2 games and then we walked around to TCBY for some ice cream Then we all went to Amber's house and watched a video. And then Lila and Toine had this idea that everyone including the boi's spend the nite at her house. I didn't think we could but her parents finally agreed to it after 20 minutes of begging and pleading lol! It was fun. We all slept on the trampaline and watched shooting stars. It was really cool. I think there was some meteor shower or something. We had this big ass pillow fight...... Then everyone fell asleep except James and I and we were talking or just lying there or something. It was cool. James and I finally went to be at 5:00 in the morning or something around that time. And then at 7:00 I woke up and called Marie-France and asked her if Louise could babysit instead of me because as you can see I didn't get any sleep...thanks to James!!! jeez!!! lol!!! Then I wanted to go to sleep again but James wouldn't let me he kept hitting me with a pillow telling me to wake up! And then after a while I think we all fell asleep and we went inside because it got hella hot outside all of a sudden. And then we watched some music videos. And Amber tried making cinnamon rolls for us. I mean I give her bonus points for trying to make them...lol...they were still good. And then we went downstairs and James and I watched Spiderman and we were all cuddled in amber's hammack that hung from her bunkbed that Lila made. And then Toine and Amber watched it. Lila and James left and then Toine, Amber and I went upstairs and made some 'Gak' whatever that is. And we didn't have enough in gredients so we kinda improved it the rest of the way. It was funny. It turned out pretty good I guess. Well at least mine did. Well I think thats about it. Adios Amigos!!!:)

Friday, August 1, 2003 10:50 a.m.

im so bored, im so bored, im so bored, im so bored....... what is there to do in Wally World? I mean i've done everything in wally world, bowling, swimming, walking around down town, parties, movie house, shopping..... what else is there? jeez i need to move. I wanna have a party tonite well just a few friends okay like alot and dance all nite doing nothing else but dance. Hey lila.......lol okay well a couple days ago I found out that my aunt is pregnant!...poor her..lol just kidding! I hope its a girl! she needs a girl she already has two boys. My uncle wants a girl but she wants a boy...weird I always that it was the other way around....oh well.. oh my gosh this morning I did the funniest thing...okay well to me it was pretty funny but to anyone else it'll probably be stupid...anywayz!!! i was eating breakfast and sandy says goodbye to my dad and heads to the door and then she said goodbye EVERYONE! right as she said that i was picking up my spoon with cereal in it and then when she said goodbye to me i droped my spoon! lol! i couldn't believe she was actually talking to me...lol i thought it was hilarious how i dropped my spoon...lol okay wow...yeah yeah i know what your think BLONDE!!! oh well....lol..oh shout...lol...jeez..okay im settling down now...lol

Monday, July 28, 2003 09:22 a.m.

Today is the annivasary of my grandma's death it has been 7 months...I can't believe it has been this long...but besides that note, today was an okay day I got my scheldule for highschool 1/19th century US/NW history/worthington 2/computer apps/dont remember 3/Intro P.E./Johnson 4/Fr English/Tomlin 5/Pre-Algebra(lol!!!)/Ferenz 6/Fr Science/Staff Lila, Andrew, Amber, Toine, and I all went to the highschool and walked around to find our classes...I have to go from one end of the school to the other. I never really realized how big WA-HI really is...I mean it looks big when you just look at it, but when you actually walk around the school its twice as big...well for me anyways. Then James, and Cody showed up on their bikes...hmm...I thought someone was too lazy to go...well I guess riding a bike isnt lazy....?????????? oh well at least I still got to see him today.

Sunday, July 27, 2003 5:00

Camp was alot of fun, we played lots of games, played basketball, played in the creek, went swimming in the pool, and did some crafts. I got into a water fight...of course...and I got soaked! (what else is new) I think everyone was in the water fight but I dont really remember. We all had to leave today which was really hard for me. I am gonna miss everyone soo much... When I got home I called up some of my friends to tell them I was home...they kinda sounded disapointed that I was home...but I dont know...I stayed at my dads tonite and I dont really remember anything else...

Wednesday, July 23, 2003 11:07 a.m.

Last nite I went over to Andrews house for a little party and James, Trevor,Lila and of course Andrew was all there. Well I didn't know that James was gonna be there cuz he told me he wasn't going...well being so gullable like I am I fell for it. But I am glad he went I had alot of fun. Well everyone wanted me to go outside and I knew that something was up so I tried to stay outside but they dragged me outside and sure enough I got soaking wet thanks to James, Trevor and Andrew... errrr.... But I got James a couple of times so I was happy :) Anyways Andrew would pick me and lila up and then have Trevor hose us down or have James dump buckets of water on us and then they would drop us in this tub that was filled with water! And my luck I was wearing a white shirt but I had my swimsuit on underneath but then one of the straps came off and yeah.......I changed and that was the end of the water fight for me...lol!!!!!! We played some pool and then we were talking on the computer with Kyler and I can tell Lila had a blast giving him a bad time...I have to admit it was funny. And then we were all watching "Lord of the Rings" and we didn't get far in the movie at all. Everyone was on the couch and James kept tickling me!!! But oh well... it was alright..lol!!Then we all stoped watching "Lord of the Rings" and watched the 8th greade videos that Lila made and the one that Amber and I made. Then my mom came so I had to come back home. Tomorrow we are all suppose to do something like go downtown or bowling or something like that I guess...

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 12:27 p.m.

Last nite I went to the movies with James and we went and saw "Finding Nemo" it was a cute movie but the movie wasn't what I thought it was going to be. And then we stayed for another movie. We saw "Bruce Almighty" and that wasn't a good movie either. But I still had fun cuz I was with James. Then we talked on the phone and once again he fell asleep talking to me...jeez...I must be boring! lol! Lila, Amber, Jillian, and I are going to do a music video called "Its About Time" by an all gurls group Lillix. I am gonna be the lead singer I think her name is Tosha I am not sure. We are gonna start shooting next week, so all this week is a planning period. Lila wants to have two guys in the video James is gonna be one of them and we haven't really figured out what other guy. Its gonna be so much fun! Tonite I am going to be at my dads house and I am gonna be hella bored! Oh my gosh! I wonder what I am gonna do??? I will probably be on the phone the whole time lol!

Friday, July 18, 2003 11:00p.m.

My mom and I picked up James and Trevor and went over to Lila's house for a party. The party was sooo much fun! Even though I did get really wet and had ice down my shirt it was all good I'm still smiling :) NOT! the ice cubes sucked! We had a water fight with buckets and two hoses and of course water balloons. Lila had a tub full of them. And Amber had her water gun and Lila had another one but that didn't work that well. Anyways the water fight was boi's against gurls...Andrew, James, Tommy, and Trevor against Amber, me, and Lila. It was crazy! The guys would pick us up and then have someone hose us down while another guy poured a bucket of water on us. It was freezing cold! I tried getting James wet with the bucket but he would grap it and then pour the water on me! I think out of everybody I got wet the most! Andrew was in the garage the beginning of the water fight and him and James went running in the alley and around the otherside of the house and we finally got Andrew soaking wet. It was really funny. After the water fight we were resting.....okay wait no everyone was cept for me. James and Trevor were putting ice cubes down my shirt like hand fulls and it sucked so much! I tried getting back at them by putting ice cubes down their pants but they wouldn't let my hand get even close and then they would just put more ice cubes down my shirt! And I have wonderful friends who were just sitting down watching me suffer!! LoL!!! There wasn't alot of dancing like I hoped at Lila's party but oh well it was really fun. Amber, Lila, and I were dancing a little bit here and there. Then Amber and I were dancing on the pool table and everyone just stoped what they were doing and was just looking at us. I felt like a little hoe.... But it was only for fun so I didn't really.... None of the guys would dance! I wish that they would...hint...hint...JAMES!!!! I played some pool against Lila and I won!!! Oh yeah! LoL!!! And then amber and I were playing pool against James and Trevor and I dont think we ever finished the game I dont remember. Or someone hit the 8 ball in. Then when everyone left except for James, Lila, Trevor and I..james and I played pool well nine ball. And of course James won. LoL! Everyone played some basketball...James and Trevor against all the rest of us. And they were hella good even with all of us playing against them.. But I guess I suck at it so that didn't really help either. Then when it was just Lila, Trevor, James and I we played 2 on 2 basketball and we were losing but oh well it was still fun. Then James and I were playing 1 on 1. It was really fun. I stole James's hate from him hahaha!!! Oh and another thing James took the chalk and put it on my boob! I got so pissed at him! It wasn't as bad as the ice but it was close. It sucked also! I got picked on so much!!!! ahhhh!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2003 07:18 p.m.

I went swimming with James, Trevor and Lila. It was so much fun. But I got dunked soo many times!!! And they wouldn't let me tan! But then I finally got too I guess. Then we went in the sand and oh my god that sucked sooo much! James and Trevor got sand all over me and it was hella hard to get out! Lila and I got them too, but not as bad as they did to us. Errr... I hated the sand part! We went down the slides and played around in the water. Lila got a little sick and that has to suck, I hope that she will be okay. We went to the park next to the pool and walked in the creek to get to the other side and hiked up this hill and it was hard getting up and down. Lila and I were sliding all over the place. We got down finally but I couldn't get back up because my sandal was floating down the creek and I would have to go and chace it. And Tanner and Jesse were there and kept like stocking us or something and it buged the shit out of me! I can't wait til tomorrow nite Lila's having a party and I'm not really sure what we are gonna do. But probably a movie and dancing (i hope) and then i dunno what else. I just hope that she feels better so she can help me get Trevor and James!!! Muhahahaha!!! no i cant get them back so i might as well give up

Wednesday, July 16, 2003 11:30 a.m.

im.....sooo....bored!!!! I'm stuck babysitting until 4:00!!! and I usually get off at 2:30!!! Oh well that just means more money! Which is fine with me. I'm doing anything today with my friends. At least I don't think I am....I never know til the last minute. I hate babysitting its hella boring. Im just messing around on the computer and listening to music. LoL its the song James likes the Bad Boy 2 soundtrack one. I'm still bored! Michaela has some weird elephant that walks and makes really weird noises...LoL!

Tuesday, July 15, 2003 07:52 p.m.

WoW!!! the past couple days have been sooo much fun! I've been hanging out with my friends and having a BLAST!!! OKay well yesterday I had a pool party i guess you could call it and it was soo much fun. Tommy, amber, lila, andrew, jillian, james, and trevor all came over to have some fun. And we had a water balloon fight and i got thrown into the pool so many times by all the guys!!! it was crazy!! but it was fun! And when most of the people went home james, trevor and I were having a fight with the mud and that was really crazy! Well today we all went to ambers for a hang out thing and it was really fun. we were watching how to lose a guy in 10 days and then we were having pillow fights all over the house and beating up eachother practically. And amber's cat kept attacking me!! which wasnt cool. lOl. Then we were all pigging out on pizza and cookies and pop. And then we went out side and were jumping on the trampoling and we had the hose on and it was like a mist thing and andrew through me on the trampaling and i got really wet. And then i gave James a hug to get him wet. And then everyone was basically wrestling with eachother to get the other one soaking wet! And then i gave James and Andrew a ride home. I was talking to Lila on msn and I told her how much I miss James and how much that I still like him. And then she was all I'm gonna go and ask him if he likes you. And he does. Then Lila asked him out, but I didn't know that she was gonna do that. But he said yes to that too. So last was really like...wow...lol...I guess I got my second chance like I wanted. And I can't stop smiling about the whole thing. I just hope I won't mess things up like I did last time. Thats the last thing I want to happen.

	Thursday, July 10, 2003 05:35 p.m.
okay i've had alot of thought about he-who-must-not-be-named and i dont care anymore. He confuses me and i want to have a fun summer so im gonna stop mopeing around the house and hang out with friends!!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2003 11:55 p.m.

MSN Conversation with my boyfriend Kyler... me: hey Kyler: hey Kyler: did u understand my email? me: what are you up to? me: i just got into my inbox Kyler: have u read it? Klyer: ? me: i just now read it Kyler: do u understand what im saying? me: yeah but i dont want a break i wanna still be with you Kyler: i dont want a break from u, i just want to be alone until i can see u more, like the school year me: so you mean you dont want to come over anymore or what? Kyler: i dont want to break up, i still really like u, but i just want to take a break until i can see u, and the relationship will be more smooth instead of msn and talking on the phone me: sorry but im still confused Kyler: so am i me: what do you mean by this "i just want to take a break until i can see u," Kyler: i never get to see u enough in the summer time, and i want to do more with u than just go over to ur house, so i want to take a break from our relationship until we can see eachother daily Klyer: or more than once every 2wks Klyer: do u understand what im saying, i agree with what u said in ur "im confused" email, i just want to take a time out on our relationship for the summer me: so like not being boyfriend girlfriend anymore until we can see eachother everyday at school??? Klyer: i guess, just friends that talk on the phone every once and a while, and maybe a few movies,,,pretty much like what it is now, but just as friends me: so your saying you want to break up and then get back together when school starts? Klyer: not break up Klyer: just take a break and see where things go.....i dont really know what im saying, i just want to be alone for a while i guess me: kyler you are practically alone now so this break up wouldnt be really any different Klyer: i know, but .............i dont know me: so exactly how long have you been wanting to do this? tell me honestly Klyer: i realize that, all i know is that i want to take a break from "us" just to be single for a while, and then well see how we feel when we see eachother more and hopefully start back up again me: kyler thats a break up Kyler: just since yesterday, i was thinking that i just wanted to take a break me: so you want to go out with other people and then at school when we see eachother things will go back to normal? Kyler: i know, but its a break up that hopefully doesnt fully break us up, like we know well be together again Klyer: no i dont want to date other ppl Kyler: i just want to be single until school me: i cant believe this Klyer: im just agreeing with what u said in the "im confued and i need ur help" email me: yeah but that was 6 days ago i've thought about it and changed my mind that i still want to be with you no break or anything that we could work this out and still be together Kyler: oh, well i just read all of it yesterday me: ...... Kyler: i dont want it to be a total" i hate u and never want to date u again" break up, i just want to take a while to be single until im ready to be ur boyfriend again, if thats still what u wanted me: kyler i still want you to be my boyfriend me: i love you so much and if this is what you want then i guess........... me: we will take a break me: but this is what you really truly want? Kyler: i dont know, but i want to try Kyler: lets just give it a rest for a while, and see how we feel by the time ur bday comes ok? me: my birthday? Kyler: the way ur acting now might change my mind, ur so sweet and supportive, maybe ill change my mind in a few days, if u still want to Kyler: ya, august 20 me: thats too long me: lol Kyler: i know, i just want to try it, just so if we hopefully get back together in the school yr, our relationshipe will be new and strong, i dont want it to get to the point where we're sick of eachother when we never see eachother Kyler: which is what im afraid of happenning if we stay together in this time when we never see eachother me: we wont get to the point where we get sick of eachother cuz i'll never get sick of you Kyler: do u understand, i know its weird me: yes i understand Kyler: thats what i think too, but i dont want to take the chance Kyler:thank you sooooooooooo much me: you owe me big time Kyler:since we are taking a break now, u can feel free to experiment dating other guys, just to compare , im just gonna live the boring single life, but u go ahead if u want to me: kyler i dont want to Kyler: i thought so, but i thought id say it anyways me: it'll be too weird not having you Kyler: u still have me, but just as a friend until school starts me: its not the same Kyler: i guess, unless i change my mind and u forgive me when i do me: i'll forgive you Kyler: thats why ur such a great girlfriend, ur understanding me: i thought im not your girlfriend anymore me: whoa you told daniel that we took a break 2 days ago ??? whats up with that? Kyler: well not tecnically, but u make the perfect girlfriend for any guy Kyler: no i didnt, i told him yesterday i was thinking about it me: wow Kyler: i told him about the email i sent u yesterday me: o me: i hate this Kyler: yeah, im confirming it with him write now, he needs to get the facts straight me: i hate this i hate this i hate this Kyler: im sorry me: yea me too me: so i guess that saturday was a good bye? Kyler: not a good bye, i didnt know about this satterday me: no last saturday when you came over hella early Kyler: theres no goodbye, but a ill see ya in a few weeks me: few weeks? me: kyler i feel like you just said good-bye and your gone already thats how i feel right now Kyler: im sorry, but i really need this casue i want to be serious with u when i see u more, not over the comp. or phone me: kyler i always try to have you come over but something always comes up and then it doesnt happen Kyler: i know Kyler: thats mainy my fault(actually always) me: cuz i wanted to see you so we could be together over the summer so our relationship could last me: ........ That was the worst day ever and I'm still crying. He wants to take a break... I dont but I love him so much that if this is what he wants, we will take a break. I hate how this is killing me inside... I like him so much and in return he hurts me so much... What's gonna happen now...?

Monday, July 7, 2003 09:19 p.m.

Today when I got home from babysitting Ambra my sister cut my hair and my mom didn't know about it. We were soo paranoid that we were gonna get caught. My hair is cut so my hair frames my face and she trimmed my hair. I think my hair looks really cute! And it is about time I have a style to work with. I had my hair up in a messy bun so no one would notice my hair. Well my mom came home at 5:00p.m. and I told her about my hair at 9:00p.m. She wasn't mad she actually liked my hair. Which was really a relief. And she said that it is my hair. And I was gonna get a hair cut anyways just next month.

Sunday, July 6, 2003 10:41 p.m.

Today was a relaxing day I never even changed out of my pajama's today. I sat around looking through zines and then watch Miss. Congenialty and Practical Magic, ate some BBQ chips. And waited for Kyler to call. Which he never did. And so I'm on MSN messenger now to talk to him cuz he told me to be on but he's not. This isn't the first time. But oh well I guess I can't expect to talk to him all the time, right? Some times I'm so confused about us. I mean he acts like he never wants to talk to me or be around me but when I asked him that he said "if I could I would see you everyday" but his parents think he is too young to be in a "serious" relationship. Is a "serious" relationship seeing your girlfriend everday or what? I don't know.

Saturday, July 5, 2003 07:16 p.m.

Okay well I've been thinking alot about Highschool lately and I'm actually getting kind of excited to start Highschool this fall. I mean it is definitley going to be a very different experience for me and my friends. But because of Highschool going to be so different I think that's the exciting part. Its like a fresh new start to learn and to grow up. And to experience new things. I hope that Highschool will be ALOT of fun!!!

	Wednesday, July 2, 2003 06:44 p.m.
OH my gosh!!! Hell has broke lose and im going insane!!! i swear to God someone is after me or something. Nothing is going right at all and i think that me and kyler arent going to last very long at all!! and for some reason im not all really that upset about it cuz he's the reason why Hell has broke loose!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Monday, June 23, 2003 07:07 p.m.

Aloha okay well today was really fun Amber, James, and I went and walked around town more by the old mall which is eastgate and we were causing trouble and all and it was fun. We didnt get caught at all... well except James (of course) we were at Staples and he was in the chair rolling it all around and someone told him he had to put the chair away. And we were messing around with the computer's at Staples. And the lap top i was on was connected to all these computer screens on the shelf and i didnt know that so whatever i was doing on the computer showed up there and it was funny! And then James took pictures of me and Amber with some digital camera at Staples. And we were at Abajian motor sales and James got into the cars and sat in them it was really funny. He looked good in alot of the cars..lol! And then we went home.

Sunday, June 22, 2003 11:51 p.m.

Hey everybody okay well I am at Amber's house and we were watching two weeks notice and then I tried calling Kyler at 11:30 he told me too and every time i call him the lines busy and i've called him like a million times. And he told me to call him so i have no idea what the hell is up but oh well i guess. Early this afternoon i was talking to Carl and i think that i got into some serious shit which i shouldnt have been in and wow i hope that i will shut up whenever i talk to him which will be hard because he is such a charmer and i hate that. He wanted me to play some b-ball at berney with him and i was all no cuz he said that he would probably kiss me and i have a boyfriend so i was all like no i have a boyfriend and its your best friend and oh my god he wouldnt take no for answer. But anywayz its all good i guesss Amber and I went to go and see "from justin to kelly" and that was a good movie i thought so and then i came back to ambers house and my mom said that kyler called me and said he email me so i talked to him on msn and as usual he was his horny little self but yeah. Okay well me going now and talk on msn some more with Albino. Later!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2003 07:22 a.m.

Wow!!!! tonite is graduation i cant believe that at all. everyone who i've talked to about it is all scared that they are going to fall on their face from tripping!!!!!! but all the guys are thinking that graduation will be boring. and they are telling all the girls that they will be fine because we are not gonna fall. but what do they know, they dont have to wear heels!!!!!! amber is gonna be wearing a suit like a business suit so i cant wait to see her in it!!! and lila's dress looks so beautiful on her!!! and i cant wait to see everyone all prettyful!! im just really sad to see all those memories again!!! Oh well they are the best memories ever!!!!!!!! Well i gotta go to school. And then we are gonna reherse the graduation at cordiner all today. THis morning like sometime during advisory which is 1st period. And everyone who isnt in choir or is a presenter has to go back to school. But i dont cuz im in choir!!! :P hehehe. And i only have 3 classes today!!!!!!! yes! and then i gotta go abck home and wash and dry my hair and then paint my toe nails a prettyful color and then my sister heidi is picking me up to take me to my hair appointment and then coming back home and then my other sister ambra is going to do my make up and then i probably will be too nervous to eat..LOL!!! and then before i know it it'll be time for GRADUATION!!!!! Lila and my boyfriend kyler and my best friend Haley are presenters! and i cant wait to hear them!! Well i wish them GOOD LUCK and that they will do wonderful! well i gotta go to school....BYE!!!

	Sunday, June 8, 2003 08:22 p.m.
Right now im so confused. Okay well i read Lila's journal and i found out that Kyler bet bucks that he only wanted some ass. I dunno what to do. I called and asked him and he denies everything. ahhhh

Saturday, June 7, 2003 10:39 a.m.

Oh my gosh! this coming tuesday is GRADUATION!!!!!!!! ahhh... wow...im soooooo nervous. I mean I cant wait til graduation because everyone will be all dressed up and then choir which (im in) and we get to sing "i will remember you" at graduation and kyler gets to play the drums :) and then mr. jones on the guitar and Quinn on the piano. We have like our own little band. lol! Well i just cant wait! its gonna be soo much fun! but yet it'll be really sad. But i dont really get why it will be sad because were just going to highschool together at the same school. But still.....

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 05:32 p.m.

Today was really fun in play production we were taking the stage stuff back into storage and all. And Carl and Kyler were playing football and i was too. I took the football from Kyler and then he tried to get it and he did. And we were sort of tackling eachother. Then Mr. Jones tried to get it from me. It was a little freaky. Anywayz he finally did. But Mr. Jones and Kyler both tried to grab the ball away from me at the same time. But i saw them both head for it and I turned around and ran into Mr. Gilberts room. After school James, Brandon, Lila, Amber and I were all playing basketball. And I guess Brandon likes me or something. And i dont like him at all. And then we were talking on MSN and he was all like "you have big boobs" i was all "ahhh gross he said that!" it wasnt cool at all!!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2003 09:33 p.m.

Wow! We had our play today and oh my gosh it went better than anyone could have imagined! Thats the best we've ever done! And oh my gosh i was o nervous!!! And gues what the boxes i was carrying didnt fall when the werent suppose to. And then i remembered my lines too! Me and Kyler seem like we are doing really well now i guess. He was by my side the whole time that we were backstage. I am just gonna give up on James im not gonna like try. Because i really really like Kler i thought that I wouldnt. Cuz he is definitly different from all of my boyfriends but it is all good. In Choir we had a party which was really fun. We had alot of pizza and the surprizing part was that it was all gone by the end of the period. And then there were donuts and also we played a cup game tournament thing. Then i played basketball with james, sheila, max a million, nick, and krystal. And we lost :( of course. Lol!!! but it was all good I guess. It brings back old memories! i love it. Lila knows what i mean ;) and i still think that history is repeating it self which if you ask me is a good thing!!!

Monday, June 2, 2003 09:09 p.m.

Well today we put on a play for some classes and i thought that it went pretty good. Alot of people did break character because alot of parts were really funny. Like especially when Megan had the whip and was whipping it was like whoa! really scary!!! LoL !! Tomorrow at 7:00 or 7:30 is our actual performance for family. I cant wait for that! It'll be really neat! I hope no one messes up. But i am pretty sure we will all do good. And james was there! ahhh that was really freaky!!! I was talking on MSN and i was talking to james and he said that he read my Magizine and i was all crap! i have poems in there based on him! and then like I asked him if he read them and he was all yea. And then i was all do you know who those were about and he said "no, who?" and i said "you" and he was all "really?, tell me again tell me" i was all okay and i told him them and he was all like " did you write that yourself?" and i was all "yeah" and he told me that he didnt know what to say about them. What does that mean???? I wrote four poems about him and how much i missed him. And then he asked me which one was my favorite and I said a poem called "never" and then i asked him which one he liked best and it was this one. I'll never forget you I'll never stop loving you I'll never say good-bye I'll never hate you I'll never forget our talks I'll never forget us together I'll never forget our first kiss I'll never forget your face I'll never forget your smile I'll never leave you I'll never forget the way you look when you're sad I'll never stop saying I am sorry I'll never stop thinkin about you I'll never forget the day I lost you A thing that really bums me out is that Kyler has football practice for Wa-Hi right after school and then today he had also a baseball game. He never has any time for me at all. And you know the way I would see it is that you know if he really liked me like he says wouldnt you think that he would make an effort to call me as soon as he could??? I mean come on. I dont know if this relationship will last. I mean I really do want our relationship to last no doubt about that. But sometimes I wonder. Amber, Jillian, And I all went over to Lila's house today so we could work on music videos. Mine and Ambers are turning out so good! And Lila showed the end of her music video and its a little message about this last year and oh my gosh that really made me cry!

Thursday, May 29, 2003 07:48 p.m.

At school i got told i couldnt wear my shorts to school because they were too short! again! and this time it was by Mrs. Reibel and Mrs. Anderson. I am soo pissed. Maybe they are just jealous because i look better in shorts than they do! well thats my story and im sticking to it! I had to babysit today and Michaela and I went to Sharpstein to play on the toys there and then we walked home and we walked past a T-ball game that Kyle my little brother was playing in. Today was his last game. And then i went home and my mom and I went to Taco Bell and grabbed something to eat and then we went to Kyler's game and we watched that til the end. I dont really know if they won or not because my mom and I were still in the car. I dont think he could see me but i saw him go to the car and i dunno but i think that he saw me. Then we turned around and Kyler's dad Greg turned on a street and Kyler looked over and saw that it was my mom turning around so i am pretty sure that he knew i came to watch. Now i hope he will call me tonite! he better. Well because tomorrow he is coming over which will be fun! But he is soo lucky he gets to miss school tomorrow because he is going to a jazz band competition in Tri-Cities at Park school. But the only bad part about that is that he has to be at the school at 5:45 AM!!! and then he is suppose to come back around 4:00 and if he does then he can for sure come over. I hope he can!

Wednesday, May 28, 2003 03:52p.m.

Today i only had four classes to go to instead of 7. Because play production was performing infront of the highschool and wow i was soo nervous!!! The play went really good better than i thought it would go. We missed some cues but im sure we will work those out. And we got alot of laughs! of course when the people were suppose to laugh! and then i got alot of laughs with my lines which was awesome!! i loved it soo much. I just cant wait until tuesday june 3 when we perform for our family and friends. Its gonna be so much fun. i cant wait!!! But i really, really hate our costumes! its sooo weird and doesnt go together at all. But the costumes are suppose to look bad which really really sucks! but hey its all good in the long run...i guess. I just came back from the celebration of learning and i looked at all the magizines they had out on display and all the art work. Nathan and jarod both had their self portraits out and they actually did look just like them too! it was pretty cool. I think kyler my boyfriend is gonna be mad at me cuz i told him i wasnt gonna go to the celebration of learning...but i did. It was last minute. And kyle my little brother had a graduation from kindergarten and now he's a first grader! he's growing up so fast! Me and some of the kids on my street were haning out together and one of the kids named nathan has a little brother who is a year and a half and a little sister who is just 4 or 5months old and i havent seen her yet. But hunter is the cutest ever! and i swear Hime ayame has a video camera taped to her hands! she always has that. But she is in the process of making a really cool video i cant wait to see it!

Tuesday May 27, 2003 7:10 p.m.

Wow today was a boring sort of day. Didnt really do that much. The only thing that i was stressed out about is finishing my magizine for tomorrow for "the celebration of learning" at school. And i have no clue if i am gonna be able to get it done by then i hope i do! And choir was of course crazy like usual!!! And i was mad because were doing a musical and i tried out to play the mom and Kassi got it which she sucks! And all my friends and me think that i should've got the part! but play production was soo much fun because all you do is act! And i love to act! it is sooo much fun! Okay i dont know what is up with this one guy his name is James and i went out with him and jeez i dunno he just confuses me sooo much first he acts like he wants to be my best friend again and then he acts like he's Whitney's i just dont get it.